(Text from video and additional material)
So what is the story? There are lots of programmes in your head about how you can't let go of this stubborn fat, about why you need it, and what would happen without it? But there's usually one big main reason that doesn't relate to you thinking consciously about this, it usually relates to your unconscious having an idea, that it is protecting you in some way, with an extra layer of fat. So it could be all those other typical reasons like reserving fat for energy because you do not eat on a regular basis. But it could be something traumatic happened in your life. And the fat is a protective layer to protect you from an emotional trauma, some emotional pain.
Some of you will be able to think this through yourself and discover it for yourself. And others might need some help, either from an OldFat2Go® Practitioner on OldStuff2LetGo® Practitioner, and anybody who's trained in those will also be an OldPain2Go® Practitioner, which, although it's about physical pain, it also applies to emotional pain, because they're the same neural pathways. So if you see any of those people about your problems, they should help you find the story and get you around why you need to keep whatever programme it is that you're running.
So, I am just gonna give you a two examples of these stories, so you can see what they can be, how much they affect you, and even if there are quite a trivial story, it's all about the emotion it attaches itself to, that gives it its strength.
I helped a woman with her weight and she came along for the diet products. But at the same time, I was training in NLP and hypnotherapy. So, they overlapped for a while and I was a therapist at the same time. She came along and she was quite an attractive young woman, probably early 40s, with a little bit of a tummy. But when she came in, I thought, well, I do not really need to help her much with losing weight (I sold very low calorie diets). And it was just about this tummy, and that's what she complained about. But she really exaggerated and talked about this enormous stomach that she had. What it boiled down to was she was having a bottle of wine every night, as soon as the children went to bed. Now a bottle of wine, contains quite a lot of calories, and nothing that is any good for you in it. Most people who drink and do it on their own, are not doing it to be social. So usually it is about blotting out something they would rather not think about. So using my other skills as a therapist, I talked to her for a while about that.
We got to the point where we realised that this was about her feeling frightened about her children. She lived near a river, and a few years before she had heard about a family who lived at the side of the same river. And unfortunately, that family’s car crashed into the river and two of the children drowned. So she had this fear that something would happen to her children. It was quite traumatic for anybody who read the story, it was heart-breaking. And I think a lot of people would have put themselves in the same position. What do I do? How do I..., how would I get over that? What could you possibly do if you lost your children in a car accident, and so she started doing different routes to take them to school. So that she did not have to go down the side of the river. And that meant because there were not that many bridges on this river, that she had some time drive a really long way to only go a short distance. Now I had also read the same news reports and I was quite traumatised by it, so I understood her reaction. When I went deeper into it with her. I started to understand it was not particularly about this. We got to the point where we found out that when she was younger she thought there was favouritism in her family and that she wasn't the favourite child and I think a sister or brother was, and she'd always thought, “well, I'm not going to do that to my children.” And I then worked out what it was about, so I said "well when you're driving down and you have to go down that road down the side of the river are you worried about the children?" She said? Yeah. I said, “what do you think then?” And she said, “Well, I wonder which one I would rescue.” So that told me there was something twisted in there because it was not, I could rescue one and then the other. She said, "Well, I'd probably be only able to pull one out. So I would have to decide." And I said, you would have to decide which your favourite is, wouldn't you? And she said, Yes. I said, “Have you ever come to that decision?” And she said, No. I said, “Well, you don’t have a favourite so what you are doing is you are worrying over nothing.”
Because you are thinking, well, I would have to decide. And then that would be a terrible decision in a moment of this disaster happening. And I said, it would not work like that. If you drove in a river with the children, you would actually grab the nearest one to you pull them out, and go back in and grab the next one, you wouldn't actually have the problem of having to decide. And once she recognised that in a head, then the trauma went, which meant she wasn't having to think about this every night, when the children went to bed, how much she'd missed them if something happened to them.
A lot of this was just like everybody else's problems that are all in the head. They are a made-up scenario, that might never happen. And yet, every day you can play it out, and hurt yourself. When we are running a story that does us no good and it does harm, we are beating our-self up each day, over nothing. And everything is about guilt, or sort of not thinking you are worthy of something. It is that we are harming ourselves, over thought processes that are nothing to do with now, this very moment we are in today.
Let me give you another example. There was a woman came to see me, an attractive woman, somewhat disguised by the fact that she had put a lot of weight on at some point. Now, it is difficult when people put weight on to see their facial features. And so it becomes like an anonymous layer that you put on when you put weight on. This is the first time I would ever in all my time of helping people had anybody admit that they thought they were attractive. It is not something we tend to do. She had been Actress at one stage and she got all this admiration and attention. And for a while she loved it. But then something happened to her. And because she only came for the diet products, not for the actual therapy. We did not get deeper into it. But I think she must have been abused by somebody at some point, and from then onwards, the weight had gone on. So she knew what the story was then. She recognised that she had put the weight on deliberately, to look less and less attractive. And that kept her from having to having to reject male advances that got less as she put more weight on. She gave me the difficult job of helping her to reduce the weight to the point that she thought she was just attractive enough to get away with it. Which is really strange!
As you can see, there can be a host of reasons, and you will not always be able to sort out a story for yourself. If you can, that is all you need to do. Find out what is affecting you, work out the logic that this is not actually going to happen. You see, usually it is often about lack of assertiveness, if you can be more assertive, then you do not have to hide behind something. I have already discussed that. So find out things on assertiveness. But if you can find out your story and deal with it in a way... Now it does not have to be emotional, it can be just a logic based, "that's never going to happen." And we can just talk to our own self, inside the head to say to the unconscious, I do not need to keep this programme running, you do not need to keep me anxious about that. It is not going to happen. And if it does, I will react better. If I am suddenly made aware of it rather than constantly being in awareness of it, that might disguise me noticing the lower level sensations coming on.
So if you can, you can find and deal with your own story. If you need help, then get help for it. Because what we are talking about is the rest of your life, once you have got rid of the story, you have got rid of the problem. And usually that only takes a few hours with a skilled Practitioner to actually find that out, deal with the old programme and stop it from running anymore, or to reset it to the level it should be.
Things like anxiety should be like a fire alarm. It should not be ringing all the time. It should be silently waiting in the background ready to ring when there is a problem.
A story that runs a protective program is not always a obvious traumatic story, it may appear trivial if told to someone who wouldn’t understand the depth of distress it caused. But whether it sounds traumatic or not: It is not what happened to us that is the problem, it is how we feel about what happened to us!
You may be able to resolve yourself as an adult, or you may need some help to do so. Always have a conversation first with anyone you think you may want to help you, to see what they think.