These are my personal thoughts, feelings and experiences – I am not medically trained.
The 5 lies of Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia is not only a hidden illness; most of what is written about it is either irrelevant or simply untrue.
Lie #1, The cause is unknown.
Lie #2, There is no “cure.”
Lie #3, There will be a pharmaceutical answer.
Lie #4, People with Fibro all have the same illness.
Lie #5, Being a Fibro Warrior is a good idea.
I write this as someone who has helped many people on the road to recovery from Fibromyalgia, M.E. and C.F.S.. I consider all three illnesses to be part of the same syndrome I call Burnout Overload Safety System (B.O.S.S.). Why do I call it that? Because although it starts off as a protective system, it becomes the boss of you!
I now train others to do the same work and they too are getting results, so the great news is that there is hope and you don’t have to wait for a future breakthrough – it is here now. So here is my personal explanation and my beliefs for your scrutiny. I make no claims it is right or it is the only way. Just that it has worked for people I have worked with and the more I do it the more successful it is.
People compare their symptoms, yet no two people have exactly the same symptoms or severity of problems. Exchanging ideas for relief from symptoms or arguing about the illness needing more awareness or better diagnosis distracts from what is really needed – the answer to why the illness starts and get progressively worse. You see this is your own special illness, totally unique for you, being a special blend of all the things that should make you rest – physically and mentally. But they don’t do they?
A Drug that Cures?
If you are waiting for a pharmaceutical answer, please don’t hold your breath because it is NEVER coming. Why? Because you all have a unique illness! A drug that was made for one specific sufferer would not work on you or anyone else. It would only work on that one person and then the drug company would have to spend several million more developing it for the next person with their individual symptoms and so on.
Everyone so far that I have met with the BOSS range of illnesses (about 600 people) have one outstanding trait – You are all people who are highly driven physically, mentally or both. You all like things done well and specifically done your own way. You stop people from helping you and do it yourself, so as to get it done right, thereby increasing your workload dramatically. You look after everyone else before looking after yourself and will often feel that all those around you would not do very well if you did not prepare for them, cajole and look after them. Because of this, you take on more than you can physically manage and your thought processes are always on overload. Is that you?
It is my theory that the stresses your mind and body are under cause it to come up with a cunning plan. The parts of your brain that control your body designs a program that it runs to prevent you from dying. It truly believes this constant stress and overload will kill you, possibly a heart attack or a stroke. So it does what it does best it automates a protective program. Quite simply it does whatever it can, that it thinks will slow you down and calm you down. The best way to do this is pain and fatigue. Whether you get more of one than the other is a calculation done in conjunction with your nervous system and your memories of things that slowed or calmed you in the past. If you walk or run it makes your legs incapable, if you get upset watching the news it will give you severe light insensitivity, if you over-think it will give you brain fog. This is not you consciously making yourself ill, this is your automated systems taking over. Because you didn’t understand this as a message, or because you ignore it and fight through all it can do is keep making the condition worse until you learn – or until it can’t make it any worse. Being a “Fibro Warrior” is the worst thing you can do, all that fighting the illness (message) does is speed up your deterioration.
The Safety Program
In effect, your illness is a message to stop doing what is harming you, the stress of being busy in body and mind. Whilst this illness does seem to creep up on you, it usually has a memorable start to the change in intensity of it. This noticeable start can be anything that makes you immobile for a week or two. This can range from the loss of a loved one, a car accident, an immunisation, a virus etc. What was yours?
You Just Do Not listen
As a person with a driven nature, you do not give up easily! That’s an understatement because in reality only death is likely to stop you and that’s why you are ill…. The best analogy I can give to explain is that you are like a driver doing 100 mph in a 50 mph zone and that’s what you enjoy. Unfortunately, the police catch you every time and pull you up in a lay-by whilst they remind you once again of the dangers to yourself and others. When they let you go, you now do 120 mph to try and catch up. And of course, the Police pull you up again and remind you how dangerous it is. But you don’t listen and so your life is run at an average speed of about 10 mph or less as you spend most of your time in lay-bys being told off or short bursts at 100 mph plus.
I have helped people release themselves from Old Pain, the sort of pain where nothing can be done except pain management. It can be a simple job to convince the unconscious to let go of old messages that are no longer relevant. However, in the case of Fibromyalgia, the pain is still seen to be necessary as it is there to slow you down and give you chance to recover. But slow down you do not and so the message has progressively got stronger and more consistent. So how do we break this vicious cycle? Quite simply you have to understand your role in this. If you were a child constantly pulling on your parent’s hand and leaning towards the busy road would they ever let go? Of course they wouldn’t! You would have to stop leaning and pulling and when they get to the point of trusting you they can finally let go – although if you let them down they will hold you firmly again. The same goes for any of the BOSS illnesses. Once you understand that if you make a pact with your unconscious mind to slow down to a human pace and stop trying to be super-human, it can let you have your freedom. It will, of course, give you your pain back if you don’t stick to your agreement. That’s why I can help people on the road to recovery and pain removal is usually instant. How long you remain pain-free is up to you!
With Love, Steven Blake