This is a personal discovery from Steven Blake mba and his own thoughts and feelings:
People who have Fibromyalgia, M.E. or C.F.S. all share the same attributes that they are the extreme opposite of lazy! In fact their “driven” personal quality, in my opinion, is at the root of all their conditions.
If you have a chronic fatigue or pain related illness, these are my personal thoughts on how you understanding it might help you on the journey to rid yourself of it. It relates to seven years of dedicated study and working with clients with Fibromyalgia, M.E. and C.F.S.
So here is my theory, and to remove all doubt I will state straight away that people with chronic fatigue and pain are neither lazy nor is it “all in their heads”. In fact despite all those affected having different symptoms and levels of incapacity you are united in one thing – your story of how it started and progressed. Every single one of you regularly pushed yourself to your physical or mental capacity – or both. You are the exact opposite of lazy, hence your understandable frustration and sensitivity to people thinking you are, or that you bring it on yourself. It was these matching stories and my experience of dealing with various physical and emotional pain related illnesses through talking therapies that led me to discover the way I think the illness started and therefore my interest as to how someone could be helped to recover. I have now been in touch with many people studying these illnesses who all have very similar theories and now the National Fibromyalgia Association seems to be on the same lines (further details below).
You are likely to be a highly driven person and have always pushed yourself to the limit, mentally and physically, often more than your body can cope with, typically with a greater concern for looking after others than yourself. The illness starts with one or more of the following; a viral infection, severe illness (other), vaccination, severe stress or a traumatic accident/incident (the trigger). Several weeks later when you anticipate you should be feeling better, you now have the illness that gives you the chronic fatigue and pain symptoms. This continues for many years, if not for life, whilst you become more and more frustrated by lack of diagnosis, answers or remedies. You may even accumulate more illnesses as your immune system overloads. At some point you will feel so low for so long that your internal voice will keep repeating a phrase that reflects the terrible thought that you are never going to recover. As you rarely look poorly, you also have the issue of not only feeling very ill but having to convince others that you are. Their comments are far from helpful and are in total opposition to the driven person you know you are. This adds to the pressure and continues the downward spiral. At times you may be lucky enough to feel a bit better but whilst playing catch up with life you find it is the fatigue and pain that catches you up!
I have checked this story out on many ME and Fibromyalgia forums and have yet to find anyone this story does not fit. The fact that no two people have the same set of symptoms or degree of debility is why no cure has been found so far and is why pharmaceutical companies will not invest in research. However it is the lack of the same symptoms and the fact that only the stories match that led me to my conclusion.
We all have an excellent survival mechanism that is run by the same processing system that controls all your bodily parts and functions. I believe that in order to protect you in a situation of severe overload it shuts you down. Not just a trip switch it actually carefully shuts YOU down in the best way for YOU. This ensures your immobility and even dampens your mental capacity. This is to conserve energy to recover from whatever initial trigger occurred and to stop you from doing further damage (in the same way doctors put people in a coma to recover from head injuries). It stays like that until it is convinced you won’t carry on in the same “driven” way. Unfortunately “driven” is your nature and the more you fight the illness the more it thinks you need to be immobilised, hence why this goes on for years or you never recover!
Pain and Fatigue are natures way to stop you, as is brain fog and blurred vision (so you can’t even watch TV). Your survival mechanism actually could not have done better for you, thanks to its totally unique blend of symptoms designed especially for stopping you! Whilst that was a great defence at the time, stopping you from possibly fatal consequences, it is now the protective shield you are pinned under!
It is no coincidence that many of your symptoms will be similar to stress related illnesses such as: bowel problems, fatigue, brain fog, changing vision, autoimmune problems and unwarranted pain. This is because you are now constantly in a stressed state, being in a situation you have no control over.
Pain is a message to us to stop what we are doing and concentrate on getting “fixed”. The greater the perceived damage the greater the pain level to ensure you do all that is necessary. It is my conclusion that your pain will continue whilst it is thought necessary by your instinctual processes. The pain will only go when it feels safe that you will NOT keep pushing yourself to the limit. You cannot fight this illness, it will make it worse!
“According to the National Fibromyalgia Association, within the last decade perspective has shifted from thinking about it as a rheumatologic or autoimmune disorder to now primarily involving the central nervous system. Essentially, the brain, based on what it knows about a person’s life, makes a conscious decision to defend the person, and to defend them, it calls upon several body systems, especially nerves, to protect. “It’s more of a nervous system sensitivity issue, a hypersensitivity. It can affect multiple systems.””. This appears to agree with my findings.
This video describes pain in both technical and simplistic terms and far more eloquently than I can, please watch before reading on. The video backs up my theory that pain is there for a protective reason and he also states that the level of pain is deliberately made so intense that “you cannot do anything else”. He goes on to state that long term pain spreads, becomes more intense and you become more sensitive to it. Even if you don’t agree with his concepts I think you should recognise that in your condition, particularly those of you with Fibromyalgia.
The best analogy I can give is that you are driving yourself at 100 miles an hour in a fifty zone. But you get there slower than others who drive at 50 miles an hour because you get pulled up by the police at every lay-by for half an hour. You then run at 120 mph trying to play catch-up and get pulled up even longer by the police who may even suspend your licence for a while. Your 100 mph spurts and your idle time in the lay-bys give you an average speed of about 10 mph. So – you can slow down and run at the same speed as everyone else or continue to not learn from experience and keep facing the consequences. It really is your choice – 10 mph average with pain and fatigue, or 50 mph of regular comfortable and uninterrupted speed!
The “Protective State” you are in can only continue whilst it thinks it is doing the right thing for you. You can get in touch with that part of the mind and reason with it. You cannot however lie to it (it knows your deepest thoughts)! You will only recover when you accept a new way of being and doing. You will have to learn to let go, realise there are many things you cannot control, that other people can do things instead of you, that you can’t run everything, that saying NO is a good thing, that your life has to come first. You cannot try to fool your unconscious mind and nervous system, that you are a changed person if you are not.
To “turn off” the hold of the illness, is quite a simple process. However it will not “turn off” if it still thinks it is necessary for your survival. You have to convince it you have changed and if you get excited and overdo things as you start to recover the pain and fatigue will quickly come back on and debilitate you again! In short, no change = no change! These are my own personal views and you can provide your own. I appreciate your positive and helpful feedback towards a better understanding of these debilitating illnesses.
Check out my friend…Steven Blake……he is awesome. Please all of you….read this….and pass it on to someone you know with M.E……This man changed my life……. Steven is one of the most genuine caring people I have met. His main aim was to help me get better. He has helped me become more focused and healthier. I was ill for over 20 years and Steven helped me on the road to recovery. Words are not enough. He is one of the worlds lovely people.
Lynda Radcliffe Somers - treatment in 2011
Jackie following treatment in 2016
Jackie following a top-up in 2018
I went to see Steven with horrific fibromyalgia pain, chronic fatigue syndrome and anxiety/panic attacks. As Steven has said previously I didn’t 100% believe that what he was going to do was going to work but I desperately wanted to be pain and anxiety free. I actually went to see him initially as the panic attacks almost had me house bound and when he said he wanted to free me of the pain first, I felt almost deflated. Yet I cannot thank him enough. I wish you had a video of Andy [her husband] and I’s reaction as I couldn’t believe after all those years it had gone. This man really does know what he’s doing and needless to say my other problems moved along with my pain. I’m not saying I don’t get pain anymore, as I do, but I listen to it and do as I’m told. The old crippling pain has gone and I’m one happy bunny For this I once again thank you xxx.
I just had an amazing session with Steven. I was suffering pain all over with Fibromyalgia, and in 20 minutes I was almost pain free. I cannot thank him enough for making me understand why I was getting the pain. Thanks Steven, you are a star.
I had fibromyalgia – all my life I’ve suffered, and spent an hour with Steven, OMG, I am amazed. I walked in, in agony, and walked out completely pain free. It’s been a week now and I’m still pain free and don’t expect that to change. I would strongly recommend him.
Karen loses her pain from 30 years of Fibromyalgia.
Whilst Andy did not have Fibromyalgia he had broken virtually every bone in his body in 2 road traffic accidents. His ankle had shattered and caused a physical deformity and he was in regular high levels of physical pain. He left completely pain free and continues to be so.
The results you achieved for my wife Tracey Brown were nothing short of miraculous. She left the session pain free for the first time in 10 years and she is still pain free and walking unaided despite a degenerative spine condition.
Grahame J Brown
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“Whether you think you can, or think you cannot, you will always be proved right”. – Henry Ford
Thanks for taking the time to read this, Steven